Throughout my career, I have always tried to make the people who work for me know that I care for them. “People are our most precious asset!” is a phrase often heard from senior leaders across the Sea Services and one I truly believe in. I still hold my service members accountable and press them to perform better when needed; however, I work to ensure my criticisms never overshadow my actions to connect with them. I never want anyone who works for me to feel they are not valued or that they do not matter.
Handle Your Business
I often think back to a phrase I heard during my time in the Army: Your problems are your business, handle your business. At my first duty assignment, I worked for a first sergeant who served three tours in Vietnam. If we were on a battlefield, he would have my back without question. The problem was we were not on a battlefield. We were in a motor pool fixing trucks. If there was a problem outside of work, the standard phrase applied: Your problems are your business, handle your business. No one wanted to know anything about me that was not directly work related. Disheartened, I decided to not reenlist.
I joined the Coast Guard in January 2004, and my first unit was Station Calumet Harbor in Chicago, Illinois. The day I reported, I was greeted by a warrant officer who reminded me of my experiences in the Army. Fortunately, there was soon a change of command. Our new commanding officer was Chief Warrant Officer Steve Cabral, whose leadership changed everything for me and reinvigorated our entire unit. He was thoughtful and deliberate about his leadership, often calling junior service members to his office to get to know them better. It wasn’t until I started leading people myself that I understood the importance of what Cabral did. He became the leader after whom I modeled myself.
Boondoggle with the Chief
Later in my career, I was assigned as the executive petty officer of a small-boat station in Michigan. There, I would randomly call a junior member into my office to talk to them—just as Warrant Officer Cabral had done with me. I let them know that everything was fine, I simply wanted to talk. I asked where they grew up, what brought them into the Coast Guard, and more. Many called it “Boondoggle with the Chief.” I was intentional about earning their trust by asking questions about them, their families, and even their pets. I wanted to know if they had a cavity. I wanted to know if they were about to sign a car loan with 21 percent interest. I wanted them to know that their problems were not just their business, that their leaders were there for them.
One night, I received a phone call about a service member in need. He was facing some challenges in his personal life, began to drink, and started having suicidal thoughts. Without hesitation, I left for his home in the middle of a blizzard. Another unit member and I stayed with him overnight. We talked, told stories, laughed, and cried . . . we cried together. When the alcohol wore off, his outlook brightened. His time in that dark place had ended.
One life saved and the search-and-rescue alarm didn’t sound.
Intrusive Leadership
Word traveled around the station. My unit began to trust me more. Once, a female service member knocked on my office door and asked if she could talk. “Of course!” I responded. She closed the door, sat down, and broke down. I asked, “Are you okay?” She said she wasn’t. I asked, “Is there anything I can do?” Through the tears, she explained she was homesick and needed someone to talk to.
To be honest, I was a little surprised. I was mentally preparing to make calls and start a sexual assault checklist. She just needed someone to listen to her. I never imagined I would be in that position, but I’m glad I was.
She eventually collected herself and went back to work with a rejuvenated spirit. Sometimes, people just need some support. I would rather have my service members come to me to cry versus them crying about me. I checked in with this service member several weeks later. She was doing better and confessed that she also had had some suicidal thoughts at the time.
Two lives saved and the search-and-rescue alarm didn’t sound.
Later, another crew member needed to have a closed-door discussion. “What is going on? Is everything okay?” I asked. I thought I was prepared for the answer, but I wasn’t. He looked at me and said, “No, I’m not, and I won’t be alright until you tell me what is going on with you! You haven’t been the same lately and everyone can see that. We need our old chief back.” At that point, my office door opened, and other station members came in. “We aren’t leaving until you tell us what’s wrong.”
I was speechless. A few weeks prior, I had been in a dark place and began having suicidal thoughts. At a medical appointment, I had been told I may have Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS, commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease). I decided I couldn’t let my family watch me slowly deteriorate. I had a plan, but I didn’t have a time. I thought I could act normally while I got some things done first, but my crew noticed. They could tell something was off and there they were in my office, worried and staring at me.
I couldn’t hide it any longer. I had to open up to them, just like I had expected them to open up to me. They asked if I was thinking of committing suicide and I gave them an honest response. They told me they couldn’t let that happen. They were intrusive with me, and it saved the life closest to me: my own. It was in that moment I realized how much of an effect I had on my crew. They got me to change my plan. A short time later, I found out the original diagnosis was wrong.
Three lives saved and the search-and-rescue alarm didn’t sound.
I recently had a discussion with Coast Guard Captain Marcus Canady after reading his June 2020 Proceedings article on what he called intrusive leadership.1 Having been properly introduced to the term, I would now characterize myself as an intrusive leader and think everyone should become one.
Our service members deserve to feel valued and supported. Their problems should never be just their problems.
1. CDR Marcus A. Canady, USCG, “Racial Tension in America Requires Intrusive Military Leadership,” U.S. Naval Institute Proceedings 146, no. 6 (June 2020).